


An Assassin's Gift

by SteveDuck



Category: One Piece, Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Birthday, Birthday Presents, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Mid-Timeskip (Both), Mystery, Shopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:15:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25910437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SteveDuck/pseuds/SteveDuck
Summary: It’s Steven’s birthday soon, Pilot doesn’t know how old he’s going to be, but he knows it will be a cause for celebration, and that Steven deserves a present out of this world, literally. Unfortunately for Pilot, a con he is running risks putting his entire gift shopping escapade on hold. He could also make some very deadly enemies too, but what else is new?
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	1. The Assassin Goes to Water 7

**Author's Note:**

> In terms of time, this story takes place about three months into Steven Universe’s and One Piece’s timeskips. This story is cannon to my “Travels with the Pilot” fanfiction though is slightly farther ahead in terms of time. There are no major spoilers, though there are some things that intentionally won’t make sense until my central story catches up. If you don’t read “Travels with the Pilot” all you have to know is that Pilot is a friend and mentor of Steven and Connie’s who is a grey skinned creature called a kelmep able to make portals between dimensions.

In the City of Water, Water 7, a man in a white suit sat, his face shaded by a white fedora. He sat in a two-seated basket strapped to the back of a blue yagara bull, an aquatic beast resembling a cross between fish and horse. It carried him along the canals towards the central markets, where all manner of things could be bought.

As the bull approached its destination its passenger looked up at the blazing sun, the light glinting off his white framed sunglasses and illuminating his grey skin. The bull pulled into an empty waiting bay and Pilot hopped off onto the street. “I’ll be back in a while.” He told the beast.

A young man ran up. “Sir, Sir! You have to pay!”

Pilot turned to him.

The man recognized the uniform and froze in terror. “No, it’s fine I’m sorry!”

Pilot reached into his jacket. “I’ll be gone a couple hours; how much would that be?”

“I-It really doesn’t matter!” The parking attendant whimpered. He flinched as Pilot brought out his hand.

“Will this cover it?” Pilot asked holding out some money.

The man took the paper notes cautiously and examined them. “The price is only 300 berries per hour…”

“Sorry,” Pilot said reaching into his jacket again. “I’m sure I’ve got some more in here somewhere…”

“No sir! This is more than enough!” The attendant continued to stare at the cash in shock.

“Oh good.” He smiled, starting to walk away. “Keep the change! It’s your tip!”

“But sir.” The man looked up and around. Pilot was gone. “This is 40,000…”

Pilot wondered down the streets of the market moving between shops and stalls. He cast a doubtful eye over a selection in a jeweler's shop. “Would sir perhaps be interested in diamond earrings for his girlfriend?” The store’s owner offered.

Pilot shook his head with a snicker. “I’m buying a present for a friend. I think the last thing he needs is more diamonds. I’m looking for something that says Water Sir-Heaven.”

The jeweler raised an eyebrow at the odd pronunciation of her city’s name before quickly bringing out another product. “How about this silver-plated pocket watch, it has a map of the city etched onto the back.”

Pilot examined the timepiece carefully. “Maybe… I’ll come back for it.” He left with a wave.

“Come again sir!”

As Pilot stepped out into the street, it was quiet, too quiet. Pilot took a few steps forward and stopped, ears twitching. Almost in a daze, he rocked gently to the side.

Suddenly, a blade of air narrowly missed him as it sliced down into where he had stood. It was soon followed by another.

Pilot swayed around the slicing wind that rained from above him. He threw a handful of flashbangs into the air. As the explosives put a stop to the assault, Pilot’s ears twitched again. There was a cracking noise beneath him. Pilot looked down as the pavement fell away, dropping him towards the water below. Pilot tensed his leg and kicked. “Moonwalk!” He was launched up high enough to catch the pavement’s edge one handed. He looked up at his adversary.

Standing over him was a tall, slender figure. He wore all white, including a top hat, high collared shirt and tie. His young squarish face was dominated by his long rectangular nose. He sheathed a pair of katanas he held in reverse grip. “Well, hey there Pilot!” He smiled genially. “What brings you to these parts?”

“Kaku!” Pilot smiled back. “Got me again! Give us a hand?”

Kaku took Pilot’s hand and pulled him up. “Up you get champ!”

Pilot stood up and dusted himself off. “Thanks. What bring you here, I never thought you’d show your face here again after what happened with Galley-La.”

“Iceberg can’t deny government officials access to his city.”

“Is that what we are now? I hope this doesn’t mean more paperwork.”

Kaku chuckled before shaking his head. “There’s something about you Pilot. You are going great guns in your training, but you’ve botched every field mission. Spandam wants you killed.”

“And Lucci doesn’t?”

“He and I recognize the truth.”

“The truth?” Pilot took a step back.

Kaku rested a hand on one of his katanas. “You still have a long way to go in the six powers, but you are clearly the strongest trainee we have, even more than some CP-0 agents. You’re feigning weakness.”

“Well, I didn’t want anyone to be jealous.” Pilot explained. “Do you mind if we walk and talk? I have a bull waiting.”

“Lead on.” The assassin nodded. The pair moved on to other shops.

Pilot approached a stand selling model bulls of various sizes. He picked up one which was meant to be wound up to make it swim around a bathtub. “Hey Kaku, look at this.”

“Is this what you spend your training grants on?” He asked good humouredly.

“I’m looking for a birthday present.” Pilot explained.

“Who for?”

“A friend.” He took a closer look at the toy before shaking his head. “I think it’s too young for him.” He put it down.

Kaku lent on one of the stand’s supports and chuckled darkly. “Don’t let Rob Lucci hear you talking about your buddies. I once heard him say that friendship was one of many frivolities us Cipher Pol agents must surrender in the name of absolute justice.”

“He would say that, his only friend’s that pigeon of his.” In truth Pilot had far deeper grievances against Lucci, Spandam, and most of Cipher Pol and the World Government. He couldn’t even say he liked Kaku all that much. Sure, the man was polite, but he was also a remorseless assassin, cold, and content to serve as part of an obviously corrupt governing body. Quite frankly, Pilot would be glad to be rid of them all once he had gotten what he wanted from them. “What do you think though?”

“I think it’s more complicated. People like us, assassins, we’re hard to make friends with. We’re told to distrust every stranger, and other agents are just as bad. In our profession, friends are hard to come by, keep hold of them.”

“Thanks Kaku.”

“No problem, sport.” He stood up. “This pal of yours, what does he like?”

Pilot considered the likes and dislikes of his friend and apprentice. “Well, he’s a diplomat. He’s been working on bringing peace to a nation. He’s quite young though, a teenager. In his spare time, he usually hangs out with his friends, plays games or does combat training with his girlfriend, play music with his dad…”

“He’s a musician?” Kaku noted.

“Oh yeah, he can play almost anything, write songs on the fly, a real virtuoso.”

“Have you checked the emporium across that bridge?” Kaku pointed. There, on the other side of a narrow canal spanned by a bridge was a music store.

Immediately, Pilot vanished. An instant later, he appeared right in front of the window display, thin trails of blue tracing the path he had taken at warp speed.

“Shave!” In a blur, Kaku appeared beside the kelmep. “You certainly have mastered that technique lickety-split.”

“Huh?” Pilot tore his eyes away from the instruments and tone dials in the window. “I suppose, maybe it’s my specialty.” Pilot turned back to the display.

In the back, above a green guitar stylized to resemble a shark was a poster. The poster depicted a flashily dressed skeleton with an afro playing a similar instrument on stage, the words “Soul King!” were emblazoned over top.

“You know what you’re procuring for him?” Asked Kaku.

“Yep.” Pilot grinned. He tapped the glass to point out his selection.

“I’ll see you back at base then.” Kaku turned to take his leave.

“Kaku wait!” Pilot called.

“Yes?” Kaku turned back.

Pilot was fumbling with berri coins and notes of all denominations. “Can you help me figure out which of these things is enough to pay for it?”

Kaku glanced at the very obvious price label with a sigh. “Good golly, you really do stink at math.”

In the City of Water, Water 7, a man in a white suit sat, his face shaded by a white fedora. He sat in a two-seated basket strapped to the back of a blue yagara bull, a guitar case and rolled up poster on the seat in front of him. The bull carried him along the canals towards the back streets, where a concealed portal would go unnoticed.


	2. The Assassin Visits the Soul King

Pilot walked down the cramped backstage passages of the concert hall, the beat being played by the opening act thumping through the walls. He tipped his white hat politely to stagehands who pressed themselves against the walls in terror as he passed, recognizing the uniform. Pilot made his way to what he was looking for, a door with a golden star hanging from it, emblazoned across it, the words “SOUL KING”. He knocked.

“Who’s there?” A somewhat rough voice demanded.

“Fans!” Pilot replied cheerily.

“The Soul King isn’t seeing fans at the moment, he’s very busy.”

Pilot rolled his eyes. “Sorry ladies,” he told his non-existent accomplices, “looks like you won’t be seeing Brook today.”

Another voice, softer than the first, came from behind the door. “Ladies?”

Pilot switched to his natural speaking voice. “Aw man!”

He changed his feminine intonation a bit. “But he’s so hot!”

He put on another girl’s voice. “We love you Soul King!”

The formerly soft voice exploded with excitement. “Yohohohoho! Well I suppose I could spare a little time!”

“Brook wait!” The other voice protested.

“Don’t worry boss, my makeup takes barely any time at all! Yohoho! Come in Ladies!” The door was opened by an tall, animate skeleton. He had an afro, top hat, and suit adorned with tinted glasses, an orange boa, and other flashy accessories. Brook’s jaw dropped at the sight of the Cipher Pol agent before him. An instant later he leapt back, grabbing the purple cane resting on the vanity he was using and drawing his concealed sword. He pointed the blade at the intruder.

Pilot raised his hand peacefully as he took a step into the room.

Brook’s manager, a short man who’s origins in the long arm tribe were obvious from his extra pair of elbows, drew a pistol from his pinstripe jacket and shakingly pointed it at Pilot. “What’s the World Government doing here? I had a deal!”

“You did? Well, I’m not here on government business if that helps.”

Brook lowered his weapon somewhat. “You’re not?”

“Nope! I’m not much of an assassin really.” The kelmep removed his hat with a bow. “Pilot, Prince of the Warp, at your service!”

“What a relief!” Brook sighed, putting the sword away. “When I saw you, I almost jumped out of my skin. Not that I have any skin, because I’m a skeleton you see! Yohohoho!” He laughed heartily.

Pilot popped his hat on a nearby hook and propped his sunglasses on his head before holding out his hand to offer a handshake. “Pleasure to meet you.”

Brook hopped back with a screech. “You’re all grey with pointed ears! What are you? So freaky!”

Pilot raised an eyebrow. “Says the living skeleton.”

“Oh right. My apologies.” Brook shook Pilot’s hand. “Nice to meet you Pilot!”

“Thanks.” Pilot gave a sideways glance to Brook’s manager. “You can put that away now.”

Grudgingly, the long-armed man pocketed his pistol.

“Now that the confusion has been dealt with,” Brook nodded contemplatively, “we should get to the pressing matter… Where are all the ladies at!?” He yelled excitedly.

“There aren’t any, sorry.”

“But I heard them.” Brook stated disappointedly.

Pilot briefly switched back to his female voice. “That was me.”

“You?” Brook questioned. “Are you a woman?” He asked doubtfully. “If so, may I see your pa-?”

“No!” Pilot took a deep breath, he was used to the odd traits people had in this world. “No, I’m a man.” He said more comfortably.

Brook’s manager cleared his throat. “If I may, why did you come here? Soul King is going on stage in a few minutes!”

“Right, sorry, I’ll get right to the chase.” Pilot explained. “It’s a friend of mine’s birthday in a few days.”

Brook’s manager saw berri signs. He knew that the closest thing CP-0 agents had to friends were the World Nobles they were assigned to protect. If one of them was requesting a performance from Brook by name, he could be rolling in money in no time. Worst case scenario was that he may be forced to sell the skeleton into slavery for a small fortune. “Well why didn’t you say so!” He beamed. “Were do you want us to perform? Sabaody? Mariejois?”

“Er, no.” Pilot replied, turning back to Brook. “I’ve bought him a present, but I thought that a signed poster would be awesome.” Out from his jacket he pulled a rolled up poster. “I hope I’m not being a hassle.”

Brook’s manager gave Pilot an incredulous look.

“Not at all.” Brook smiled, taking the poster over to his vanity and taking up a pen. “What’s the birthday boy’s name?” He asked. “What’s he like?”

“His name’s Steven. He’s… He’s just amazing. I have a picture of him here.” Pilot took out a photograph and handed it to Brook.

Brook gazed at the picture. The boy had thick black hair a lot like his own. He appeared to be playing an electric guitar on a stage set up by the shore. “He’s a musician?” Brook observed.

“One of the most talented I’ve seen. That guitar he’s playing broke a while ago, he’s not even had it repaired yet. He’s so busy.”

“Too busy for music?” Brook questioned. “At his age? Whatever is he doing?”

“He’s a diplomat.” Pilot explained. “His mother started a war, and now she’s gone he’s bringing peace. You’ve probably not heard of the place or the conflict. He’s making the law fair for all, he’s uplifting people who have been downtrodden for centuries. It doesn’t leave much time for music, we barely convinced him to take a break to celebrate his birthday.”

“I see.” Brook nodded somberly. “In that case, I can’t let my fellow musician down. I know just what to write!” He put his pen to the poster.

A stagehand knocked on the open doorframe before popping her head around. “On in five minutes Mr. Soul King!” Her eyes locked onto the grey skinned Cipher Pol agent.

Pilot slipped his sunglasses over his eyes, reinstating the perception filter and succeeding only in disturbing the stagehand farther with his rapid transformation into a more normal human form. 

“That’s my cue.” Brook stated, handing Pilot back the now signed poster. “May I keep the photo?”

“Sure.” Pilot smiled.

“Thank you. It was a pleasure to meet you Pilot. Perhaps you would consider a life outside of Cipher Pol.”

“Just as soon as I have what I want from them.” Pilot agreed.

“Is that how it is?” Brook chuckled. He picked up his guitar and headed for the door. He paused in the threshold, glancing back. “Well, give Steven my best.”

“I will.” Pilot grinned. “Thanks Soul King. Break a leg bone out there! Rock on!” He made a devil horn symbol with his hand.

“Get those fans coming back for more!” Brook’s manager ordered.

When Brook was about to perform, he often imagined his friends behind him, Luffy and the other Strawhat Pirates, the Rumbar Pirates and Laboon. This time he saw someone else as well, a young teenage boy with curly black hair and a star emblazoned on his shirt, sending out waves of peace and positivity for him to jam to. “Keep the spark alive Steven.” With that thought, Brook made his way on stage.

With Brook gone Pilot turned to put on his hat when the clearing of a throat caught his attention. He turned back around, straightening his hat.

“There is a fee for autographs.” Brook’s manager told him.

“Oh, how much?”

“Let’s see, not much, only 4000 berries, per word.”

“Sounds fair.” Pilot nodded, reaching into his jacket.

“Really?” The long armed man exclaimed. “I mean of course!” The man held out his palm. The realization that the government agent was this easily conned made him beam wide enough that his eyes closed.

He felt a weight and the texture of paper in his hand.

“A pleasure doing business with y-!” The manager realized Pilot was already gone. He drew in his long arm to stare down in fury at the three one berri coins atop a note apparently worth three of a currency called ‘Dollars’ the amathematical kelmep had left him.

In Steven’s kitchen a shrunken portal opened up to full size. Pilot stepped through.

Amethyst sprung up from her seat at the table. “Hey Pilot, where’ve you been?”

“Gift shopping.” He grinned.

“What are you wearing?” Pearl questioned, coming over from her vigil at the warp pad. “White is such a hard color to clean.”

“I know.” Pilot agreed. “I’ll change into my normal clothes once I’ve got these presents back on my ship.” He turned around to grab his gifts.

“Wait!” Garnet called, standing up from the sofa. “He’s coming!”

At that moment, the warp pad chimed. In a column of light Steven appeared, tired but happy to be home. “Hey guys.”

The gems leapt to greet him, Amethyst bowling him over. “Welcome home!”

“How’s Homeworld?” Asked Pearl.

“It’s going well.” Steven recounted. “The diamonds and I are making some real progress.”

“Do you think you’ll be able to come home for good soon?” She asked hopefully.

Steven frowned and shook his head. “It’s still too early. Things are good, but it could all fall apart without me still. Only a few months more though, I promise.”

Garnet briefly grimaced uncomfortably.

Steven looked past the gems and saw Pilot standing by his portal. “Hey Pilot.” He made his way over to him.

Suddenly, Pilot was upon him. Steven raised his shield just in time to block a punch and turned to meet a kick. He leaped back and threw the shield.

Pilot arched back with inhuman flexibility as the shield sailed over him. “Paper Art!” He twisted through a flurry of bubble infused punches and stopped just short of landing an extended index finger on the boy’s neck. “Still sharp.” He noted.

“I’m not gonna get rusty on you.” Steven smiled, relaxing his posture. “What’s with those clothes? You going out?” He nodded towards the portal.

“Just came back actually.” Pilot replied. “What about you?” He asked playfully. “What brings you to Earth this weekend?”

“Oh Pilot!” Pearl chided. “I thought you knew it was his birthday. You were just saying how you had bought him-.”

Amethyst swiftly elbowed her.

“You went to another dimension to get me something?” Asked Steven.

“Well I am the one who can make portals,” Pilot nodded, “interdimensional novelty’s sort of my angle.”

“Cool!” Steven tried to look through the portal.

Pilot moved instantly to block his view. “Is it your birthday today?” He smirked.

“Aw, come on!” Steven tried to look around him.

Pilot stared shifting to remain an obstacle to Steven’s vision. “Nope! No! No! Nope! Hah! Nice try! I’m a lot faster than you Steven, you’re not going to win! Nope! No!” Finally, Pilot put his hands on the boy’s shoulders to still him. “Just wait until your birthday.” He smiled.

“Alright.” Steven relented, stepping back. “You didn’t get into any trouble on my account though, did you?”

“Of course not.” Pilot replied.

“Good.” Steven smiled, turning away. “I’m gonna go freshen up.” Steven gave the gems another wave and entered the bathroom.

When the covering sound of the shower started, Amethyst trotted up to the portal. “So what did you get him?”

“Well, the main present is this.” Pilot lugged a white guitar case tied with a blue ribbon out from the portal.

“To replace the one I took a bite out of!” The gem exclaimed.

“Yep, so jaws off.” He pointed commandingly.

“So that’s the main gift.” Pearl nodded. “What else did you get him?”

“Only a couple of bits.” He pulled out what looked like conical grey shell.

“A shell?”

“It’s a tone dial. Press the top and it plays music. The guitar was made by the same company as one used by a famous musician in that world.” Pilot pointed his thumb towards the portal as he closed it behind him. “I thought I’d get some of his music too.” He pulled out the poster, laying it on the table. “I also managed to snag this.”

“Wow! I like the skeleton aesthetic!” Amethyst exclaimed. “Who drew this, it’s so realistic!”

“It is real. That’s him.”

“But that’s a skeleton!” Pearl argued.

“Yes.” Pilot agreed. “He’s a living skeleton.”

“How is he alive?”

“Magic fruit.”

Pearl blinked. “Of course.” She had learnt not to question the odder parts of other worlds. “Did he write this?” She pointed to the message.

“Yeah. I caught him in his dressing room.” Pilot lent over and read the message aloud:

_To Steven,_

_While you’re out there making peace,_

_Shine like a star in the heavens and rock out from your soul!_

_Soul King Brook._

“What a lovely message.” Pearl smiled. “I hope you let him go after.”

“Yeah.” Pilot nodded. “It was real nice of him.”

“Check the back.” Garnet stated.

“What?” Pilot flipped over the poster and they all read the before now unnoticed message:

_And now, a haiku:_

_Star shines bright above,_

_Illuminating the world…_

_And the women’s baths!_

“Oh my!” Pearl exclaimed.

Amethyst burst out laughing. “What a weirdo!”

Pilot sunk his head into his hands. “Chorus curse it Brook!”


End file.
